Dream

Dream:
a deep aspiration; a cherised desire

I had the hardest time the other day answering just one question. It wasn't like some 6 part AP Physics type of question either. It was just right there in front of me. It was easy to understand, but just incredibly difficult for me to answer:

"At the end of your life, what's the one thing you want to be able to say that you've changed for the better?"

Right away I'm thinking
1. Is this question about me changing me...or about me changing the world?
2. How much time do I really have to make this change?
3. What needs changing?
4. Can I actually do something about this?
5. Am I doing this alone?

There is so much pride in me that wants to say things like, "Shoot. Tell me what to change and I'll change it, period." However, I've been coached my whole life through challenging situations and I often feel the need to be coached into "getting it done" in life. Almost as if I'm waiting for someone to say, "Jason, if you want to be a better husband, youth pastor, event organizer, son, brother, and friend, then here are the steps you need to take."

Problem is, I've got to be the one to initiate true change in myself. And as far as relying on others to tell me what I need to work on as a person, is stretching it. I'm always one for conversation and thinking with others about life and it's complications for me as a Christian Leader, but it really is up to me to dream big for myself, for my family, and for the ministry that God has called me to. I don't leave enough time in my day to dream about ways to accomplish life's big challenges, and to share those big dream visions with my wife. The moment I slip into a life that stops being risky, selfless, and passionate, is the moment when I have hit rock bottom. My wife deserves a husband who dreams. My God deserves a disciple that says, "What if?" and runs with it.

If I want to be a person that changes himself or the world, it's got to begin with God and continue with a little bit of Dreaming. Change...in me...in anyone...can happen.